Ronald Mund V. Eric Lynch

There are two repeated recorded lines on The Howard Stern Show that never fail to cause me to double over laughing. One was uttered by Ronald Mund, the other by Eric Lynch.

When Eric Lynch says “Hello, you big-nosed jackass!” I just lose my shit. It is, conceivably, the second-best insult ever of all time. (The first is a curse I learned from reading The Frank Zappa Book. It is: “May your shit come to life and kiss you.”) It’s the way he delivers the line, the utter contempt in his voice, mixed with the Art Carney-ish construction of the sentence. I have said it before, and I will say it again: That Eric the Shitcock is, truly, a comic genius. Look behind you, Chris Rock. Your competition is gaining, and he’s 3 feet tall and driving a power wheelchair.

The other line that always makes me fall down is the immortal Ronald Mund, who, by the way, can never again be questioned as to how he could possibly react to a true crisis in the studio as Stern’s dimminutive bodyguard. Mund probably saved that Teddy kid’s life. Anyway. Once upon a time, Ronald Mund actually got in front of a live television camera and uttered the following incomprehensible phrase: “Let’s fuck some whores!” It is, possibly, the most profane thought ever given words, especially when you consider the delighted, laughing manner in which it is delivered. I have a recording of someone using this phrase to prank CSPAN, and it just kills me every time. I admit it. I am still actually 12 years old.